Some conversations get harder to have with the people we love as they get older. We want them to remain independent. They want to remain independent. Nobody particularly wants to talk about what might happen if, one day, something goes wrong and they can't call for help.
But that is exactly why the conversation matters, and why it is important to have it before there is a crisis.
Being prepared for an emergency is not about expecting the worst or giving up independence. Quite the opposite. It is about putting a few simple things in place so that you can continue living independently, with the peace of mind that help is available if you need it.
"When an emergency happens, people are frightened and under pressure. That is not the time to start figuring out who to call or where important information is kept," says Ruan Vermaak, communication manager at CrisisOnCall.
Here are four questions worth discussing with an older loved one.
1. Who would you call?
If something happened, who would you contact first? What if that person did not answer?
Make sure there is a simple plan, with emergency and backup contacts easily accessible.
CrisisOnCall members have access to a 24/7 emergency call centre through a single emergency number, but whatever system you use, everyone should know whom to call.
2. What if you couldn't speak for yourself?
A medical emergency, accident or sudden confusion could leave any of us unable to communicate.
Would somebody be able to identify your loved one and find out who to contact? CrisisOnCall's identification wristband provides a unique identification code that can assist when a member cannot communicate for themselves.
3. Does somebody know your important medical information?
Make sure someone knows where to find up-to-date information about medication, allergies, chronic conditions, medical aid details and treating doctors.
Specifics matter. Knowing that your mom takes “a white pill for her heart” is not particularly helpful in an emergency. Make sure accurate information is recorded and easily accessible if needed.
This isn't about taking over someone's medical affairs. It is about making sure the right information can be found quickly when it matters.
4. What if driving isn't always an option?
Being independent doesn't necessarily mean having to drive yourself everywhere.
There may come a time when driving to an unfamiliar destination feels daunting, or when getting to an important appointment becomes difficult. Adult children and other family members may also live far away or may not always be available to help.
Knowing that there is a trusted alternative can provide peace of mind for everyone involved. CrisisOnCall's pre-booked Safe 'n Sound Convenience Driver Service, for example, provides a driver to assist with these everyday transport needs.
Sometimes maintaining independence is simply about knowing that support is available when you need it.
"Preparedness should give people confidence, not take it away," says Vermaak. "It means knowing that support is there if you need it, so that you can focus on enjoying your life."
So, make it a conversation, not an intervention.
For more information about CrisisOnCall, visit www.crisisoncall.co.za or call 0861 57 47 47.